Match report 10/05/2002.
Match Report 10/05/2002.
Lads,
This week we once again pick out the golden niblets of sweetcorn out of
the
excrement which is Friday night football.
Last Friday we were served up with a real cracker; two teams going all
out
at a frantic gallop from start to finish, end to end stuff, quality
finishes, quality c*ck-ups, and even a malicious hack or two, which left
us
pondering and pontificating well into the wee small hours.
Who won?
Well, in my opinion the green bibs just lost out despite
clawing
their way back from 5 down, and if the game lasted a further 5 minutes
the
non-bibs would have been staring down the barrel of defeat.
Congrats to
Harry for defying the critics and showing you CAN have a winning fives
team
with two earratic, ball-hugging wingers.
Can we have your names for Friday?
TIN MAN MCQUILLAN:
Whinged on the phone about the teams, whinged in the
tunnel about the teams, whinged before kick-off about the teams, and
whinged
at the wife for buying him a roll and sausage after the game. Dogged by
inconsistency these days, showed some magnificent touches, deft flicks,
and
cool finishing, but his evening was summed up nicely when he skipped
round 3
players, and with only the keeper to beat and oceans of time to play
with,
and before you could say "Ted McMinn on the ball" fell flat on his
ar*se.
Lovely jubbly. 7/10.
CONNELLY:
Captain Bundy had enough, and didn't want some more. 5/10.
HENDRY:
Less like the Lawman, more like Terry Hurlock. Slotted into the
Richard Lee role like a natural. Clattered into the writer, and Graeme,
twice in an unusual show of aggression. If I remember rightly, my
initial
reaction to the first kamikaze challenge from behind was, "who the f*ck
was
THAT? What....YOU?" Rubbish in front of goal, just for a change. 5/10.
YOUNG:
Shooting prowess well and truly nullified, played it cool at the
back, and score one beauty into the top corner, with a shot which was
actually less than his standard 90mph. 6/10.
MCGUCHAN:
The classic McQuillan-Connelly-Hendry-McGuchan Bundy Quartet
just
didn't click on the night, and Ronnie struggled to link up with his
rather
chubby counterparts, despite orchestrating the majority of their decent
moves. 7/10.
THE REBELS
HARRY:
Outstanding performance, answering all the thousands of critics
who
hammered him in the press - surprisingly linked well with Graeme, well
passed the ball to him twice, no less, and was the best 30 plus man on
the
park - well, when you're only up against Andy....8/10.
GRAEME:
Hugged the left touchline, but cut inside with devastating
effect -
you could almost draw a line with a protractor to follow his long,
curving
runs. Played cooly despite Hendry trying to murder him. Twice. Legs
like a
pair of 4 foot tanned pipe cleaners. Also owns the most knackered pair
of
sannies I've ever seen - his feet are more sock than shoe. 8/10.
CHRIS:
3 goals from the effervescant Highlander, although a distinctly
lacklustre display. Brilliant in the bar afterwards whilst explaining
my
theory on why we shouldn't have walls for free kicks, how to stop Pierre
van
Hoojdonk, and why Portugal isn't really in Europe. 6/10.
JAMES:
The new boy played his part, and looks like an assured
centre-half-cum-sweeper type, who ventures forward at will, whilst
chipping
in with his share of the goals. In truth, James had a shocker of a
hangover,
and only meandered forward when he was sober enough to see one ball.
Faded
in the last 20 minutes. 7/10.
LEON:
The Terminator played his usual game, and had built up a decent
head
of steam beforehand when he realised he was playing against 4 Bankies.
Rattled a few cages, and buried a few daisycutters. 7/10.
You know, I just cannot be ar*sed today.
Must be said that the bibs continue there world domination. When the realisation
dawned that we may actiually lose today we fought, scrapped, bit and scratched to gain
a well merited draw: Bib in chief.
