Match Report: 17/05/2002.
The anti-green bib movement thunders on to another nip and tuck victory,
this time with literally seconds to spare, grabbing victory out of the
jaws
of victory. The game belonged to Campbell, Kent, Gall, Campbell &
McGuchan
who blasted their way to a five goal lead in a sh!t hot opening 20
minutes,
played at a furious gallop, with a brand of football rarely seen this
side
of the city.
The two wing wizards, Graeme and Ronnie, treated us to a
display of trickery and cunning, which left Lee, McQuillan, Withyman,
Liddell and Connelly kicking ang grabbing bagfuls of fresh air.
The game calmed down to a frenzied pace, and Mad Dog's troops clawed
their
way back for the improbable possibility of a snifter of a victory, but
with
McGuchan and Co beginning to misfire, we were left with a dramatic even
scoreline on the hour, which for a change everyone agreed with.
Thanks to our complex "next goal the winner" rule, the flagging ten gave
one
last push for the goal, which eventually fell to Graeme, cooly slotting
the
ball home from close range. Ya f*cking beauty.
Almost as good a game as last week, we were treated to some stunning
moves,
slick passing, neat turns, and scraped arses.
Well, that just about sums up Mad Dog's game.
Valiant efforts from the
rest
all round.
The NON-Green bibs.
IAIN C:
Almost back to his worst, apparently didn't wash his kit this
week,
so had to borrow Andy's t-shirt and shorts which looked like a f*cking
tent
on him. 4/10.
ANDY MCQ:
Fell on his arse twice in another Tin Man display.
His excuse? "Well, see, it's these new trainers I've got".
hang on, aren't new trainers supposed to give you MORE grip? Get a grip
yourself, fatty. 6/10.
RICHARD:
Played in goals for the first 20 minutes, and after seeing 10
fly
by him in that remarkable opening spell decided he would benefit the
team
more by playing outfield - ho ho. 4/10.
GARY:
An imposing figure, Gary who replaced Doya at the eleventh hour,
played steadily despite some woefully erratic performances from his
fellow
Bankies, Ronnie excluded of course. 5/10.
LEON:
Complaining of a dodgy thigh injury, The Running Man looked a bit
lost without playing against his main nemesis, McQuillan. Worst
performance
this year, by his own admission. And I quite agree. 5/10.
THE (NON) GLORIOUS WINNERS.
JAMES.
The "youth element" played solidly, and looks like he's been
with us
for years, despite the fact that only 3 weeks ago he was scraping
pennies
down the side of cars, and wrecking bus shelters for a hobby. 7/10.
RONNIE:
The magnificent flying pot bellied winger once again discarded
any
thoughts of upcoming babies and threw his heart, soul, and belly into
another illustrious performance. Deserves a knighthood. 8/10.
GRAEME:
Another devastating display from the man with the scabbiest,
and
smelliest, footwear in Scottish football. Scored an impressive tally
early
on, went to sleep, and then like the classic striker, stepped up with
the
last gasp winner when the rest of us were cacking our pants, and
fighting to
get in goals. 8/10.
KENNY:
Looking much more at ease playing for a decent side, Kenny
drifted
in and out the game, and sprayed the ball about with arrogance, like a
rather chubby Stefan Effenberg. 7/10.
CHRIS:
I can't remember making too many mistakes, so I must have been
brilliant. Pulled my notorious calf muscle this time in the warm up,
which
involves some light walking followed by a gentle jog, causing me great
pain
throughout the game, and after in the bar, particularly when it was my
round. Will give this Friday a miss in order to come back flying out
the
blocks next week. 7/10.
POSTSCRIPT.
It has to be stated for trhe record that the winning team won by the narrowest margin possible.
This seems to be connected with the fact that Chris phoned Andy at 1 o'clock crying like a
"wee lassie" about the teams.
He then proceeded to whine so much that Andy relented and let Chris engineer the teams so that
he would be "carried" through the game by surrounding himself with better players (not difficult).
It also has to be pointed out that Chris has menaged to award himself of 7/10. This is a staggering
mark considering his general performance - or lack of it.
I demand a stewards enquiry!!
