"Bet" Lynch, John Lunch (cos generally that's what he was
always
eating).
HAIRSTYLE:
Interesting. A cross between a 1980's mullett and a 1950's
teddy-boy quiff.
STRIP:
Red/Black/White classic shellsuit. Says "smart/casual look for
the
discernable ned" on the label.
TEETH:
Yellow.
PITZ DEBUT:
1996.
LAST APPEARANCE:
There's last appearances, and there's last appearances
for
John, but last time as a regular was around-about December 1999.
PLAYING STYLE:
Great touch, nice ball control, made space for himself
easily, whilst controlling things from the back and telling everyone in
the
team what they should and shouldn't be doing. Could talk for Scotland on
and
off the pitch, and was ALWAYS right. Never argue with John unless
you're
wanting earache, and a sharp pain in the testicles.
Never one to move unless he really had to, owing to his bulk, and always
liked to slag off the opposition for the size of THEIR arses. Pot,
kettle,
black springs to mind.
NEMESIS:
Craig McGuire, Caroline Layden, anyone who disagreed with him,
basically.
CAREER HIGHLIGHT:
5's friendly late 1999, when RSA took on the might of
Cunninghams Adjusters - despite being shunted into the "B" squad,
myself,
James McShane, John, Bairdy, and Brian Young in goals turned in a
sparkling
display in the sleat and snow on a bitterly cold evening. Any
spectators
who showed up quickly retreated to the bar, but we stayed on, and won by
at
least 15 goals in the end. We were brilliant. John played a blinder,
like a
true Italian libero, only much fatter.
WHERE IS HE NOW?
John now works at the Pru, and looks after his kids in
Cardonald (that quaint fishing village on the Clyde), and can still be
seen
on street corners arguing about everthing from the offside rule to the
present atrocities in the middle-east.
